Whether a man thinks he can do a thing, or thinks he cannot do a thing, is probably right either way.
Shades of Henry Ford
Enuresis
I want to tell you about two things that you don’t know. The first thing is that it is not your fault. The second thing is that it is not going to stay like this for much longer. Things are going to change.
As with any hypnosis, the greatest care is given to creating expectation. If the subject is convinced it will work, then it will. Do not approach this with the attitude of “well give it a shot and see what happens”. Approach this with the expectation that it we will succeed in solving this problem and creating a new and better outcome. To a certain extent you are creating theater to facilitate change. All therapy and healing arts do this. Medical uniforms and office environments create the expectation of healing treatment. The psychologists’ office lined with hundreds of books (some of which he may of actually read) and his dark leather furniture and walls lined with degrees, all geared to convince his client of his expertise and inspire confidence. My preference is to display some finished and unfinished oil landscapes. People respond to art. It does not have to be good. I like people to relax and engage my studio and me. Bring a friend for moral support. If the caregiver does not feel comfortable creating the expectation then they should go directly to hypnotherapist. They must get a Doctors referral. A simple note on a prescription pad will do. The doctor needs to determine that the problem is not medical in nature. Bed-wetting is probably the most successful therapy you can do as a hypnotherapist. I think two sessions and a take home CD is a realistic course. Enuresis is more common with boys. It is usually outgrown at age eight.
One or two things usually cause enuresis. The first is sleeping too soundly to be aware of the body’s distress. Hypnosis can help to reduce depth and to become aware of the pressure on the bladder. A parent can help the child by encouraging them to remember their dreams. This also reduces the depth so can notice the body’s distress. The other possibility is that the sub-conscience has made a self-preservation decision at an earlier age to not get up at night. Being yelled at when two years old for getting up and playing with the stove. Afraid of the dark. The closet monster was after them. The sub-conscious mind does not distinguish real and imagined fears. These “habitual fears” can be changed with hypnosis. Sometimes there is also a secondary gain that needs to be addressed. If his bed is wet does he get to sleep in the family bed? Does he get extra attention? These are possibilities and the child would have no conscious awareness of them.
Phase 1. Answering questions. We want to solve this mystery. Write down the history of the problem. When does it happen? Where? Over excited? Over tired? When parents argue? Was there a death in the family? Was there a stay in the hospital? How long has it been occurring? When did it start? What time of the night? Ever happen during the day? (Part of the writing down of the history is a way of showing the child that something different is going on and this helps to raise expectations.)
Phase 2. Alter the environment. Put in a night light in the bedroom. In the hallway. And in the bathroom. Purchase a flashlight and let the child pick it out. If he has two pillows take one away. If one , add one. Move the bed. The child takes responsibility for the wet bed. This is not punishment. This is simply taking care of themselves. Put the wet bedclothes in the washer, bathtub, or appropriate container. Sleeping bag. Purchase an inexpensive sleeping bag and let the child help pick it out. Explain that it need not be a heavy duty sleeping bag because it will not be needed for long. It will only be used when the bed is wet. No liquids two hours before bedtime. Crushed ice is OK. This helps to establish a new pattern. Motivation. This will vary greatly between children. Plan a special event after thirty days of continues success. A family trip, camping, concert, a picnic at a place special to your family. Some children respond to a calendar with a gold star for each dry night and elaborate praise. Others would simply be embarrassed. Get to know your children now. It only gets worse. Here is a hint. Treat your own children with a least as much respect as you would your Boss’s children. Have patience. Listen to their ideas without interrupting and finishing their sentences. Did I do this with my own children? No. I regret I did not. All in all I think I was a crappy parent. You can do better.
A very simple way of using self-hypnosis for children is the daydreaming method. Either with the eyes closed or open. Whichever way helps to make their story more real to them. This script would be very much like the one the hypnotist would use in his office.
OK child’s name…. I want you to imagine that you’re getting ready for bed. You put on your PJ’s, they’re so nice and cozy and DRY. Kiss good night for (use family system). The last thing you do before you go to sleep is to go to the bathroom in your nice DRY PJ’s. Notice how the night-lights guide you safely to and from the bathroom. You use the toilet and flush it down and there is a big smile on your face. Get your blanket/toy (whatever they sleep with) so cuddly and soft and nice and DRY. And next, you get between the nice clean sheets – they’re so nice and warm and comfortable and DRY. Off you drift to sleep; you have such nice dreams about __________. In the middle of the night if you have to go to the bathroom your eyes will pop wide open and you will take your blanket/toy to the bathroom with you and you will use the toilet and then flush it down with a big smile on your face. You go back to your nice, cozy, warm DRY bed. Then you’ll have more sweet dreams about __________. And in the morning when the sun shines and it is time to wake up, your eyes are going to pop wide open and you’ll be nice and cozy and warm and DRY.
This script is adapted from one provided by Ms. Candace Brown C Ht from Hypnosis Motivation Institute. Adjust and adapt the script to fit the child. Please remember that children and many adults are positively suggestible. This means when they are told, “don’t drop the ball” their conscious mind hears “don’t” and subconscious hears “drop the ball”. Since the subconscious is stronger than the conscious mind it often overrides it. The proper way to convey don’t drop the ball is phrase it as a positive statement. Catch the ball. Don’t spill the milk. Hold tight. Don’t run in the house. Walk in the house. Why didn’t they tell us about this stuff in psychology or health classes? I guess they just didn’t know. But in any case, enjoy the adventure of growing up with your child.